I also liked one of the skills from the Center of Nonviolent
Communication (n.d.) that states;
Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states
what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request
and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear,
guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate
giving).
Many times in when I am in a conflict, I do better at saying
what I don’t want and not saying what I do want. This is something that I want
to work on so that I am clearly stating what I am thinking. Also, by making sure
my words are a request and not a demand, I believe that some conflicts will not
even happen.
References:
The Center for Nonviolent Communication.
(n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
The Third Side. (n.d.). The third side.
Retrieved from http://www.thirdside.org/
Charlotte,
ReplyDeleteI can relate. I always seem to tell people what I don't want rather than focusing on what I do want. For some reason, it's easier. That is one skill I'd like to improve. Thanks for sharng.
Charlotte,
ReplyDeleteYour idea of using the Third Eye View is definitely a concept that I am going to more conscientiously try to use in my communication and especially in the case of conflicts with others. It important to consider all aspects of a scenario before making a decision or coming to a personal conclusion because you are more well-rounded and prepared to do so. I also really liked your personal portrayal of how you easily verbalize what you don't want rather than what you do want. Honestly, I do that too. Maybe we become so caught up in making sure a person or situation doesn't take off down a path we are not familiar with or that does not make sense to us that we lose track of what we want or, better yet, what we need.
Thank you for sharing in your post this week!
Charlotte,
ReplyDeleteI love the Third Eye View concept! You are absolutely right that conflicts, especially with family, tend to spread. The spreading that the conflict does is something that the individuals tend to not think about in the heat of an argument. That information from the NVC also stood out to me, and I agree that it is very important to be direct....but it is so hard for me to do!