Week 6

This week we are supposed to write a story about a time when a child pointed out someone else’s differences and the response that we had towards this comment. The story that sticks out most in my head happened when I was teaching preschool. One of my preschool students wanted to spend some time alone. She did quite a bit where she would get mad at the other children and just wanted some time to herself. Well, on this particular day, one of the boys would not leave her alone because he wanted to play with her.

As the child got more frustrated that the boy was bothering her, she turned and pointed to the boy and yelled, “I don’t like to play with black people!” At this point, I was completely in shock, and walked over to the children. I asked the boy if he was okay, and when he said “yes” he went and played with another group of children. At that time, I turned to the girl and said, “We shouldn’t say things like that. You just hurt his feelings. How do you think you would feel if someone said that to you?”

This is when the child got quite and said that she just wanted some alone time. We talked about the different ways to tell someone that we want to be left alone and that she should have come to me if there was a problem. Later, we informed both the children’s parents on what had happened.

Thinking back, I don’t know if I gave both children the right message. I talked about hurting someone’s feelings but I didn’t really go into detail about how we are all different. I was just so shocked by this incident, especially since they are really good friends, and I didn’t know how to handle the situation.

Learning what I have from this program, the one thing that an anti-bias educator would do is talk to both children at the same time to talk about differences. I should have talked to the other child more and made sure that he was ok, and to let him know that it was not ok with what the other child said. If I had all this information, I would have also talked to the girl more about race and how it wasn’t his skin color that made her not want to play with him. I think if this situation were to happen again, I wouldn’t be so shocked and not know how to handle it. I would be more prepared and ready to take action.

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

Some of the ways you noticed that homophobia and heterosexism permeate the world of young children including books, movies, toys, stores, culture of early childhood centers, and schools

When looking through my collection of children’s books, I realized that I have only seen books that involved heterosexism. I love going to book stores and looking through all the children’s books and seeing if there is anything that sticks out that would be a great addition to my collection. Not once, have I come across a book that involves LGBT. Does anyone know of some books that touch on this subject for children?

Your response to those who believe that early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families

The main response that I would have is that we live in a world that is diverse, and we need to make sure that everyone knows that they are valued. By having books that depict gay or lesbian individuals gives children the chance to express their feeling. I don’t know whether it is because I grew up knowing about gay and lesbian couples or if it is because I believe that everyone deserves the chance to be happy, but I think that children need to see this. As we learned from Tina this week, if children do not know that it is okay to feel the way that they do, then they will feel like an outcast or unsure of their feelings. By showing children that a family can consists of many different scenarios you are helping a child better understand their feelings.

How you would respond to a parent/family member who informed you they did not want anyone who is perceived (or self-reported) homosexual or transgender to be caring for, educating, and/or interacting with their child

The first thing I would do is ask the parent or family member why they feel the way that they do. If there are stereotypes that they are afraid of, I would give them the facts and try to dispel what they have been told. I would also remind the parent or family member that all staff members are professional and are passionate about their job. Being homosexual or transgender does not affect the way that a person does their job and their personal life has nothing to do with the professional life. I know that the one rule that my previous employment had, was that no family could be on the premises when the staff member was working or there were children in the building. This was for the safety of the children and other staff members.

Thank You & Good Luck

This course taught us all about effective communication and collaboration. I learned that there is more to communication then listening and talking. Nonverbal cues are just as important to how you listen and how you talk to the people around you. All of you have shared your experiences and taught me how to handle certain conflicts. If you asked me at the beginning of starting my master's degree if I would connect with my classmates, I would have answered, not likely. I am a shy person who takes time to warm up to people. But with sharing our experiences, I feel like I have connected with so many of you.

We move from course to course staying with some familiar people and meeting new ones. I want to thank you all for everything that you have taught me. I wish everyone the best of luck with everything that you do and hope that we all remember the communication skills we learned about. I know that I will be mindful of the ways I communicate and be mindful of how I handle conflict.

I plan to keep this blog going after graduation so that many of us can still stay in touch. I wish you all the best of luck as you continue down this journey. For anyone that took the specialization in Teaching and Diversity in Early Childhood Education I hope to see you again in our future classes. It is crazy to think that there are only three more courses to go!

5 Stages of Team Development

This week we learned about the 5 stages of team development. Thinking back to all of my group interactions, I can’t say that there was a certain stage that made it easier or harder to say goodbye. I have kept in contact with many people that I have had to work with in the past. There are hard times when leaving a group, but for me it was mainly because I was starting a new phase in my life. Leaving people that I worked with for a year, while student teaching, was hard just because of the bond that had been made. Some closing rituals that I have been a part of are usually parties that celebrate what has been accomplished; whether it was a successful school year or graduating from school.

When it comes to adjourning from my colleagues from this class and from the program as a whole, I see saying goodbye and wishing everyone the best of luck. I see staying in touch with a few and remembering the conversations that we have had. Being that every eight weeks we move on to a different course and many times meet new people it has made the adjourning process a little easier for me. I have already wished one colleague the best of luck as she left the program and thanked her for everything that she has taught me. I see our blogs as a great way to stay in touch with people and also a great way to accomplish the adjourning phase!

I think that the adjourning stage is essential because it lets you celebrate what you have accomplished and reflect on what went wrong. Without the adjourning stage, I think that I would feel like things were never finished or would wonder if what I did really helped myself and others.

Week 5

This week we have been learning about conflict resolution through communication. Thinking back to disagreements I have had in the past there are a few strategies that I wish I had known about. The first is the third side view which is to look at a conflict from a larger perspective (The Third Side, n.d.). Using the third side view would help me to see how the conflict is affecting the other party member and the people around us. Many conflicts that arise in my family usually starts with just the two parties but then ends up encompassing the whole family. By using the third side view, I would be able to see how the conflict is affecting everyone and can come up with a way that will resolve the conflict.

I also liked one of the skills from the Center of Nonviolent Communication (n.d.) that states;

Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving).

Many times in when I am in a conflict, I do better at saying what I don’t want and not saying what I do want. This is something that I want to work on so that I am clearly stating what I am thinking. Also, by making sure my words are a request and not a demand, I believe that some conflicts will not even happen.

References:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

The Third Side. (n.d.). The third side. Retrieved from http://www.thirdside.org/

Evaluation

This week we evaluated ourselves on our effectiveness of communicating with others. Then we asked two people to evaluate us and compare the results. What I found most surprising was that out of the three different tests, only one came back that was different than my evaluation. The one that was different came from my mother who only sees me interact with my family. I found the results surprising because I had not really thought about the things that she was saying. The verbal aggressiveness test (Verbal aggressiveness scale, n.d.) was the evaluation that she had a different score for and I could see why she ranked me so high.

 

What I learned from this is that I really need to pay attention to how I respond to my family. I do great when I am with someone I don’t know or with someone who is not family. Looking back, I realized I do criticize my brother in a personal way because that is how he is with me. Growing up with it, I guess I just learned how to fire back at him so that I did not feel powerless around him. What I take from this knowledge is that my personal life does not interfere with my professional life, and I am able to communicate differently with everyone that I come into contact with.

 

Another insight that I gained in general from this week is that stereotypes do not play a huge role in my life. With the picture, it was very hard for me to answer the questions and to judge that person. I think that I have become this way, because I surround myself with a variety of people. This will definitely help me in my professional life since I will not be quick to judge the children and families that walk into my classroom.

References:

Verbal aggressiveness scale. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://mym.cdn.laureate-media.com/2dett4d/Walden/EDUC/6165/04/mm/quiz/quiz_verbal/index.html

Cultural Communication

Thinking back to how I communicated with others and comparing it to how I communicate now, I would say that there have some changes by not much. I have learned to pay more attention to nonverbal cues which has helped me to assess how the person is feeling. I have found this to be very important because I have noticed more things about the people around me.

Learning about the Platinum Rule this week, has really made me start looking back on certain situations and realizing that this rule could have helped. My sister-in-law and I do not agree on much and I always complain to my husband about how she always expects to get her way and never really sees other people’s opinions. What I have learned this week is that I need to take a moment and assess the situation that I am in. She was raised with being able to do whatever she wanted and is now basically in charge of their mother. I have to remember when talking to her, that this is the way she was raised and to see how her point of view works for her. We are heading over there today, so we will see how that goes!

Finally, I have learned to listen more and to not let my attention wander. I can be a great listener, but when it comes to things that I do not care about or have no idea what is being talked about, I have a hard time staying tuned in. I have been working on this, and trying to pay more attention as people are talking about things that I “go over my head.” It has be interesting to see what I have been missing, and the new information that I have been learning.